Wednesday, November 01, 2017

세계가 한 고등학교라면, 각 나라는 어떤 태도를 가질까?

Arman Siani, Engineer, Entrepreneur, Traveler

·         China: Used to be a poor but intelligent, hardworking and an extremely fierce guy. Now he is the up and coming, rich guy who is still hard-working, intelligent and extremely fierce. Doesn’t pick fights, and tends to avoid them, but will make you seriously regret your actions if you start a fight with him. Very good at science and math.
·         The United States: Extremely rich and powerful guy, who is now being challenged by China. Some people accuse him of being a bully, but some nations like him a lot. Always getting into trouble and poking his head in stuff that doesn’t concern him.
·         Russia: The quiet but intelligent kid, with a dark past. He is extremely strong, and people who have underestimated his strength in the past and tried to pick fights with him ended up with being permanently maimed or injured beyond recognition. He is very fierce of his small group of friends and is extremely protective of his zone of the classroom.
·         France: People suspect that he is gay because he looks sophisticated and posh. He occasionally helps out other students with their art and philosophy homework.
·         India: Dirty and unkempt. But brilliant, when push comes to shove. Like China is very good at math and science, but because of his indiscipline and lack of hard work, is unlikely to be as great and influential a student as China is.
·         Pakistan: Dirty and unkempt. And isn’t really good with academics either. His only claim to fame was that he scored moderately well in the Nuclear Science 101 elective (which pretty much all the other students failed except for 9 students), and that too after China helped him with the homework assignment of that class. Picks fight with India even though he knows he would lose.
·         Sweden: She is that superficial blonde girl who thinks too highly of herself. She has a pathological hatred of men, calls herself a feminist and thinks that she is a “strong, independent woman”, but in reality isn’t really good at much and is just a whiny schoolmarm. No one bothers her because she looks decent and doesn’t really do much.
·         Norway: Sweden’s less deranged cousin who found some oil, and is now rich. She is going through a hard metal phase now.
·         Canada: Cold and frigid, she is America’s smaller cousin. People generally like her, and even admire her, because she is still pristine and polite, not brash and spoiled like America.
·         Germany: He is extremely punctual and sophisticated. He used to be a big bully though, bullying pretty much all of his neighboring classmates. But then he made the fatal mistake of trying to bully Russia and the US and was subsequently beaten to a pulp. From that point onwards, he has improved his behavior and tries his best to avoid fights and mediate between other students when there is conflict.
·         North Korea: A deranged psychopath that no one wants to touch with a 10ft pole. He gets sent to the psych ward a lot but keeps coming back and bothering everyone by shouting at the top of his lungs and shaking his fists. He too scored pretty decently on the Nuclear Science 101 class, with help from his acquaintance, Pakistan.
·         South Korea: North Korea’s healthy, intelligent cousin. She used to be pretty poor and destitute. But since then, has become rich, and now is generally well respected. She is often threatened by North Korea, but she knows that North Korea is all talk.
·         Japan: Intelligent and high tech, he used to be a big bully, trying to beat up his neighbors. But like Germany, he started to bully people way bigger than him and ended up badly beaten. Since then he has cleared up his act and now does pretty well in his classes. He has got weird sexual fetishes though, and some people suspect him of being a perv.
·         UK: Used to be a powerful, proud guy with significant clouds. Students like India and Pakistan were his b**ch. But now, he is America’s b**ch.
·         Israel: He usually picks fights with folks that are much weaker than him and calls himself “powerful” but in reality, is tiny and one or two nuclear punches away from being dead. But to his credit, he used to be poor and homeless, but since then, has worked hard to survive in a hostile neighborhood and has prospered amid significant hostility.
·         Nigeria: Frequently tries to scam people by saying that he is some sort of “prince” but he isn’t even good at that. He has got the resources to be moderately wealthy but chooses to be lazy and unkempt instead.
·         Ukraine: Used to be Russia’s friend at one point. But then America told her that she should go ahead and instigate Russia, which she naively did, believing that America would protect her, and make her his sugar baby. Instead, she ended up being Russia’s b**ch. She was good at Aeronautical Engineering at one point but is now just trying to get by and pass her classes.
·         Brazil: She is HOT. Like really hot. And she is incredibly good at playing football and computer games. She is your perfect girlfriend.
·         Bangladesh: Incredibly poor, but trying her level best to improve her condition. In her spare time, she stitches garments for richer students and sells them at a much lower price, even though she pricks herself with the sewing needle quite often because she cannot afford good sewing instruments.
·         Saudi Arabia: Incredibly rich girl. But she is very conservative, and wears clothes that cover her entire body. She is very influential and sells oil at very cheap rates to her friends. She is one of America’s closest acquaintances, which surprises a lot of people, given how different these two students are.

·         Switzerland: The incredibly beautiful, but introverted girl who talks to no one. She quietly sits at one corner of the classroom, finishes her homework on time, and leaves.